Chaos in the Star Wars Universe
by Earthbound Misfit
Summary: What if Obi- Wan wished he could be rid of the ever annoying Ani for just 1 day? And what if it came true and Ani switched places with his son, Luke!?!?!?!! or Lukie (hahaha) just read it! it's hilarious!!! R&R!!! Chapter 4 now up!!!
1. This is chapter one. This is not chapter...

Chaos in the Star Wars Universe!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, or anything else I might mention in here!!!!!

A/N: If you haven't seen Episode 2: Attack of the Clones yet, you probably shouldn't read this until you have. AND there are jokes making fun of Anakin, Jar Jar and Luke, so if you'll be offended by this, you probably shouldn't read this, and if for some strange reason you do, don't blame me- I WARNED YOU!!!! hahaha ok, now on with the fan fic!!!!!

~~

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... Obi- Wan was getting particularly annoyed with his teenage padawan, Anakin Skywalker. They had just landed on Coruscant and were ordered to protect Senator Amidala. (Episode 2!!!)

*_Does he really have to keep saying those-* _But before Obi- Wan could finish his thought, Anakin did it again.

"Wizard! Master you have to look at this ship! It's absolutly rugged!" 

[A/N: Anakin said 'this is rugged' and things along that order alot in the book: Rogue Planet wonderfully written by Greg Bear.]

*_::sigh:: It's like he knows it annoys the hell out of me!* _Then he said, "yes, Anakin, it's amazing. However, we really should move on, and you should stop getting distracted. We're meeting Senator Amidala, remember?"

"Oh, yeah!!!"  
"You need to remain focus, my very young padawan." Anakin glared at Obi- Wan. He didn't like 'very young' to be attached to his name. Seeing this, and sensing the anger swell in Anakin, Obi- Wan continued, "You need to control your temper. Would you rather me call you Ani?"

"I told you, Master! That name makes me sound like a little kid!"

"Which is why I thought the name fit you perfectly." Obi- Wan mumbled to himself. *_he's going to be worse than Darth Maul when he sees the Padme again.*_

[A/N: That's a joke I made after seeing Ep. 2. umm... you know how Anakin was leering at Padme thoughout the entire movie, and well, you know how Darth Maul has horns, while my friend was ranting about the leering thing, I said that he was worse than Darth Maul because he was hornier, if that's even a word... anyway, that' s that joke!! hahahaha]

Continuing, Obi- Wan thought *_Anyone else! I'd take anyone else for a padawan!! Even for a day! I need to get away from this... this... what ever he is!! Perhaps if I tell Master Yoda that it will clear my senses, he will take him for a while... wait! I think I tried that once and Yoda told me to deal with it because he didn't want to take the boy! ::sigh:: it won't work this time either. I suppose I have to just put up with the boy...* _By this time they were on the elevator that took them to the room were they were to meet Senator Amidala. "Anakin, relax." Obi- Wan said sensing the nervousness of Anakin. Then again, you didn't need the force to know he was nervous- you could just look at him!

"I haven't seen her for ten years, Master"

*_Great. It's starting... I'm so happy I was assigned to this mission.* _ The elevator stopped and the minute Obi- Wan stepped out, he was faced with another pathetic life form: Jar Jar.

"Oby- Wan!! Mesa so gladen to see yousa!!"  
"oh, me too, Jar Jar..." Obi- Wan replied, though it didn't sound to convincing. Not to worry! Jar Jar didn't take any offense because he didn't notice!! Meanwhile, Anakin had been anxiously awaiting Padme's arrival. Then all of a sudden, Obi- Wan heard a voice in his head. Now I know what you're all thinking: It's Q!! (From Star Trek! First introduced in TNG) But no my friends it is not. It's "ME!"

*_Who's me?* _Obi- Wan thought in response.

"Jedi Master Earthbound Misfit!!"

*_oh*_

"You don't sound overly pleased."

*_oh, well last time I was in one of you fan fictions, there were those odd people who appeared and knew what Qui- Gon and I were going to say.*_

[A/N: That was one of my other fanfics titled: I Don't Know What to Call This or something like that...]

"oh yeah! hehehehe That was funny, anyway I'm here to help you! You know what you wanted a few minutes ago?"  
*_what, about the getting rid of Anakin for a day? Can you do that? It would really help!*_

"yes, I can! You still want it then? good. Do you want to remain here, or go where your new temporary padawan is?"

*_Where will Anakin be throughout all this?*_

"He will be in the opposite location. For instance, if you were to remain here, Anakin would go to the place where your temporary padawan came from"

*_I got it the first time*_

"Well, maybe I'm not talking to YOU!"

__

*Who were you talking to then?*

"The readers! HA!" Misfit then stuck out her tounge at Obi- Wan, who replied 

*_I can't see you, you know.*_

"Oh yeah. heh heh... any way, your meeting with Queenie- er Senatorie no that doesn't work either... hm..." 

*_I know what you mean... considering Anakin'f going to be leering at Amidalay hm... you know, nothing works but Queenie*_

"oh! We can call her former Queenie!!"

*_that'll work. So, since he's going to be leering at former Queenie the entire time, I think I'll stay and he'll go. Can I change my mind?*_

"And go where your padawan was? sure! just call my name!"

__

*Do I really have to call it out, as in yell it? because that will sound a little strange.*

"fine. yell it in your head. Your new padawan will come instantly! Just say the magic word!"

*_please?*_

"No! Not that magic word! the other one!!"  
*_well how am I supposed to know that?! What's the other one?*_

"You don't know? and you call yourself a jedi!"  
*_so do you.*_

"What's that supposed to mean? Oops! We waited too long. Former Queenie's here."

"Ani?! Is that you?!-" They could here Padm- Former Queenie say.

*_hurry up!_*

"I wan't joking! you really do need to say the magic words! Bibity Bobity Buu! as in the Dragonball Z Buu and I think you have to sing it"

*_out loud?!*_

"NO, in your mind... I think"

*_Bibity Bobity Buu* _Obi- Wan sang. After a few moments, Jedi Master Misfit said, "Nope. It isn't working. You're going to have to sing it out loud. But it won't be that bad! Everyone's starring at you with an odd expression anyway" Obi- Wan turned around and saw that exact thing. Then he said, "um... would you excuse us- me for a moment?" and quickly walked out of their sight. 

"They can't see me, remember??" Anakin looked at Padme with a confused expression, looking for a clue as what to do next. Thinking he is very stupid, Padme asked, "Shouldn't you see what's wrong?" slowly and motioning with her hands.

"Right! I'll be right back!!" and he ran off.

*_Anakin's following us* _Obi- Wan thought/ said to Jedi Master Earthbound Misfit.

"I have a really long name! huh? oh- yeah! it'll make things more interesting!!! well, go ahead! sing it!!"

*_all right.* _"_Bibity Bobity Buu_" *_there. did it work?*_

"hehehehe!!! huh? oh uhh... no Oh my force!-"

*_Not you too*_

"huh? oh I just said that to annoy you. anyway, I have to be present while you sing it."

*_great. What kind of messed up ritual is this?? I'm ready to just skip the whole thing!!* _ Anakin caught up and said, "Wizard, Master! You're acting kind of strange... not rugged at all!" Just then, Misfit appeared beside him and said, "You know that makes no sense, right? Are you sure Obi- Wan?"

"uh, yeah...nevermind about that." 

"huh? Who're you?"  
"Why don't you hurry up and sing already!"

"::sigh:: _Bibity Bobity_ _Buu_" 

"Master, what's going on? Why are you singing? Should I sing also?"  
"NO!" Misfit responded, fearing his singing voice might be even worse than her sister's. Then, in a poof of smoke, in his place waaaasssss this son! LUKE! "See ya BWA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I accually didn't plan this! It's not my fault! HAHAHAHA!" With that, she disappeared.

*_well, maybe he's not like his father.*_

"Ben? Ben Kenobi! You look different somehow!"  
"My name is Obi- Wan Kenobi"  
"So then you ARE him! That droid belongs to you" He turns around frantically, as if looking for something then, for the first time, realizes he's not on Tatooine any more.

"Hey! Where am I??"

"You are in another time than your own."  
"I don't understand."  
"What's your name?"

[A/N: How Obi- Wan knows he is Anakin's son, which he shouldn't, but doesn't know his name, we'll never know. It's just one of those many mysteries of the universe like how photographers are able to capture footage of Eagles out of water...(this is the part where you're supossed to laugh out of stupidity of the comment)]  
"Luke. What's YOUR name?"  
"I already told you Obi- Wan Kenobi"  
"Kenobi! Obi-Wan! Then this droid belongs to you!!" and he starts turning around as if looking for something, again.

"::sigh:: listen, Luke-"

"AGH! How do you know my name?!?!?!"

"You just told me. We really have to get to a meeting with Senator Amidala."

"Oooooh.... But I wanted to go to the Tashi station to pick up some power converters" Luke said in that whinny voice of his.

"You remind me so much of your father..." then under his breath,"when he was nine."  
"Thank you! I love hearing that! You know, old you told me the same thing!"

"Is that so?" *_you know, at least Anakin didn't whine... sure he was amazed at the littlest of things, but-*_ His thought was cut off by Luke.

"What were you thinking about just now, Ben?"

"I am your master for today, you need to remember that. And my name is Obi- Wan, _Ani"_

"huh?"  
"Oops, force of habbit that was-"  
"was that my mother's nickname: Ani?" he asked

"um, no... Your father's."  
"oh, well since I remind you of him I guess I shall be called Lukie from hence forth!"

"um, ok..."

"yes! and I will follow in his exact footsteps!"  
"well you don't really want to do that. But we really must go to that meeting"  
"Who's Senator midla, or whatever?"  
"Amidala, and she's your mother."  
"oh, I never got to see her."  
"Let's go"

~~

On Tatooine (where Anakin is):

For that split second when Luke, or Lukie, had disappeared, Obi- Wan was so happy he was about to jump with joy! But then, Anakin appeared in his place.

"Master? Master Obi- Wan? You look different somehow!"

"That's probably because I'm older" Obi- Wan replied figuring out what had happened.

"But, you're always older than me" Under his breath Obi- Wan said,"It's amazing how a stupid kid like you could become Darth Vader. Then again, it's even more amazing how a kid like Luke could be our last hope..."

"What was that Master?"

"Oh, nothing, Dar- Anakin" 

"huh?"  
"oh, nothing.... I just- uh... was about to call you- er Ani" *_even though that sounds absolutly nothing like Darth Vader, he'll never figure it out... I hope*_

"That's ok, master." Then his voice became all dreamy, "_Padme called me that-_ hey! where am I?"

"You're on Tatooine."  
"Why am I here? and where's Padme?"  
"::sigh:: Mind your feelings, padawan." *_I always wanted to call Darth that, I wonder what his reaction would be... well, I'm going to see him soon, maybe I'll do it then*_ Then continueing, Obi- Wan said,"It will be your demise."

"Yes master. But how can you be sure? I thought Master Yoda said the future was clouded by the dark side."  
"Oh, I have my ways..." *_He's almost as stupid as Luke.*_

"yes, Master"  
"now, even though Luke is gone, we must carry on with our mission."

"Who is Luke? Why would it matter if he's here or not? And how are we going to carry on with our mission if we're on Tatooine, and Padme and everyone else is on Coruscant?"

"You're in the future. Didn't you get that? Luke is- well I probably shouldn't tell you that. Luke is... special. That's why I was going to go on the mission with him."  
"You- you were going to ditch me, master??" then Anakin starts crying.

"No, Anakin. This is the future so you're-"  
"oh!! I get it! Luke is your new padawan and you were on a mission with him, and for some reason he and I switched places, and I'm a jedi knight!! perhaps even a master in this time! That's so wizard!" When Anakin said 'wizard' Obi- Wan's eye starts to twitch seeing this, Anakin asks, "Is there something wrong with your eye, Master?"  
"no, no... and about you being a jedi-"  
"can I find myself?! That would be rugged!"  
*_Take deep breaths, Obi- Wan... it doesn't matter what- wait what did he just say?!* _"No, we can't find you now!- er it wouldn't be very... pleasant. Now lets get a move on"  
"Why wouldn't it be pleasant, master?... master?" Obviously Anakin didn't catch on that Obi- Wan was ignoring him.

~~

Back on Coruscant (where youngish Obi- Wan and Lukie are):  
"Who's this?" Padme asks upon seeing Luke.

"This is my-er new apprentice for the day... it's, uh, a new program we have at the jedi temple... his name is Luke Sky- er Skytalker."

"Oh! That's almost like Anakin's last name: Skywalker!" Padme observed.

"Obi- Wan Oops! I mean Master Ben- er uh... Master Obi- Wan? My last name IS Skywa-" Luke tried to say.

"Let's get on with the meeting shall we?" Obi- Wan said, trying to get everyone's attention off of Luke. *_he's going to end up saying that Anakin's his father, or possibly even worse! That Padme is-*_

"Hey, Mom!" Luke said to Padme.

"Excuse me?"  
"You're my mother. You died before I got to-" Luke was then cut off by a hand, Obi- Wan's to be more precise. "Would you excuse us for one second?" Out in the hall, Obi- Wan continued, "What do you think you're doing, Luke?-"  
"Lukie"  
"Fine, Lukie?! You can't tell your mother that she's your mother!"

"What? Master Ben-"  
"Obi- Wan"  
"Master Obi- Wan, I'm confused."

"Great. ::SIGH:: maybe it would be better for us to go to your time."  
"No! I want to stay here!! I want to meet my Mommy!! Leia got to meet her! It's not fair!!"  
"Wait a second... your not supposed to even have MET your sister yet! Much less know that she is your sister! You were in Star Wars: A New Hope, remember?"  
"oh yeah... oh well! I wanna meet my MOMMY!!!!!"

"alright fine! We'll stay but ONLY if you don't call her mom, mommy or anything in that nature. AND you can't tell her that Anakin's you father either." 

"Why?"  
"Because then there will be the question of who the mother is"  
"and I'm..." Luke paused, as if trying to remember what was so wrong with that. It was a very long time, so Obi- Wan felt inclined to help him out.

"You're not supposed to..."  
"Tell my mom she's her!"  
"Close enough. Sorry about that Senator."

"That's quite alright..." The meeting started. They told Obi- Wan what had happened and about half way through their explination, Lukie- boy decided he wanted to start paying attention so, he said, "Oh, uh... could you start over? I want to know what's going on now"  
"Padawan! You need to stop interrupting, and you need to have your concentration here and now, where it belongs." [A/N: Did anyone notice Obi- Wan to told Luke what Qui- Gon had told him??!!]

"Yes, Master. Sorry, Master."  
"We can start over" Padme said. For some reason, she was not annoyed with this very strange apprentice... *_It feels as if he's my brother, or something... how strange!*_

"Well, you're close, Padme, but way off! He's your son!! HAHAHAHA... if only she could hear this!! hehehehe" Jedi Master Misfit said.

*_You're back again? How come?*_ Obi- Wan thought to her.

"You can hear me?! Oops!! uh... it's- um, I'm just an illusion!! An ILLUSION!!!!! heeheeheehee..." Obi- Wan shook his head, and looked over at Luke. He wasn't paying attention again. He found a chinese finger trap, and couldn't figure out how to get un- stuck. Obi- Wan decided to say something, but never got the chance.

"Luke?-" Padme started, but was cut off by her son.

"Lukie"  
"Alright. Are you paying attention, Lukie?"

"uh, yes?"

"You weren't, were you?" Luke shook his head and looked down. "Oh, it's ok, Lukie! I'm sure your master for the day will tell you what you need to do. Oh really!! It's no reason to cry!!"  
*_Oh god! Why is he crying?! Why on earth do I get the idea that he's the universe's last hope!?! He's a frickin cry baby!!* _ Obi- Wan thought.

"My- You- You are going to be killed because I never got to see you!! I'm an orphan!!! Both my Mommy and Daddy are-" Once again, Obi- Wan's hand flew over Luke's mouth. *_How many times am I going to have to do this?! My hand always gets spitty!* _Out in the hallway, Obi- Wan tries to explain to Luke why he can't say that to his mother but now Luke was crying about being yelled at by him.

"I'm gonna be in trouble again!! I don't like trouble! I get all shaky- like!!! ::SOB!::"  
"Luke! Luke!!" When Obi- Wan said this, Luke became very serious and glared at his Master for the day. Obi- Wan, obviously, wasn't worried about this. *_he stopped crying!!_* Then Luke said, kind of like Neo from the Matrix, "My name is Lukie."

"::sigh:: Why do you want to be called that so bad? Your father was younger than you when he didn't want to be called that any more! Oh well, it is absolutly imparitive that you do NOT tell your mother anything about the future! If you do, we are going to have to go to your time instead. You won't be able to see your mommy again!"  
"I won't Master Obi, don't worry."  
"Lukie-"  
"Luke."  
"Make up you mind!! Don't abbreviate my name."  
"I didn't."  
"Yes you did. My name isn't Obi."  
"Fine then, Master Smarty pants, what is it??"  
"::sigh:: _*I'm not sure how much more of this I can take!!*_ Don't you remember? It's Obi- Wan, Luke. Obi- WAN!"  
"sorry Master Obi- WAN"  
"No, you see I was just emphisizing the last part of my name. It's not really pernounced like that."  
"What's emfisezing?"  
"What?"

"What you just said: you were just emfisezing the last... something I stopped listening there"  
*_And HE'S the one that's going to rebuild the Jedi population? He hasn't even gotten proper training! I'm just glad I'm not going to be there- oh wait... I'm going to be a spirit, I'm going to have to guide him along with Yoda and... Anakin. damn.*_

[A/N: In most of the books that take place after Return of the Jedi, Luke uses a old building- thing on Yavin 4 as the new Jedi Temple and is supposed to have rebuilt the Jedi population that way!]

"Let's get back to the meeting, Luke. And stop spitting on my hand when I stop you from talking."

~~

On Tatooine:

"What do we need to do, Master?"  
"We need to secure a ship in order to get to Alderaan."

"And I was going to teach Luke about the Force then, but since he's not here, it'll be alot more peaceful"  
_*I probably should try to get Anakin to change his ways so he doesn't end up going over to the Dark Side... I'll see how I feel*_

A few minutes later, at Mos Eisley, Obi- Wan and Anakin entered a bar and Obi- Wan went immediatly to the counter. 

"Give me a- um... look, just give me anything- I've got a really annoying-" Obi- Wan was interrupted by the bar keeper, Wuher. "Let me guess. Luke?" Just then, Anakin entered.

"Nope. His father."  
"Oh, man! Here, drink this. It's the best thing for you right now."

"Wizard! I could go visit my mommy! That would be absolutly rugged, Master!!"Obi- Wan took a drink of the... drink and responded, "No, my young padawanie.... keep it here and now where it longs ::hiccup:: you know, I really miss the old days where the Neanderthals were all gay!"

"uh... Master? Are you feeling alright?"  
"what do you think, you sad excuse for a... a... a whatever you are!" With that, Obi- Wan collapsed.

"Well, it looks like it's up to me to... do whatever we were supposed to do... whatever that was... hm... maybe I'll go visit Watto! I'll be right back, Master!" and Anakin left, along with him was Han Solo and Chewie. Obi- Wan suddenly woke up! "Wait! Wait! Talk! I need to take yor shipp to, uh... go to a plllanet..." Unfortunately, Han Solo gave no nevermind to this 'old drunken guy' but Chewie stopped and insisted that they talk to him. Eventually, Obi- Wan got his point across, and they were on their way to the Millenium Falcon. While running up the platform to the ship, Obi- Wan couldn't shake the feeling that he was forgetting something, or someone... "Ah crap, I forgot Anakin!"

~~

Back in time on Coruscant:

Obi- Wan and Lukie-er Luke just walked back into to room but there wasn't anyone there except a few security gaurds. *_Former Queenie must have left. I don't blame her, if I was her, I would have left a long time ago.*_

"So, what do we need do, Master Obi- WAN?"  
"We need to protect Former- er Senator Amidala."  
"oh... is that all?"  
"Yes, Padawan, and it's more than you can handle. You haven't had any Jedi training, Luke. You do know that it takes practically your whole life to become a master of the force- even when your a Jedi Master!"

"Really?! I thought I was practically a Jedi Knight! Wow... so this accually takes some work then, huh?"  
"uh... yeah..." _*You idiot!_*

"Oh, what happens if you don't really... want to be a Jedi any more...?"  
"Y- You don't want to be a Jedi any more because you found out that you have to WORK?!" _*Ok, now I'm REALLY surprised he rebuilt the Jedi population and saves the universe from Darth Vader! That's going to take WORK! *_

"um, well... yeah..."  
"Let's see what your mom says about this."  
"I thought we weren't supposed to tell her-"

"We won't! Come on. Wait! Didn't you want to be a pilot before this?"  
"yeah, but what does that-"  
"You know that would take work too!"  
"It would?!"

__

*What did he think it would be like!?! Oh, the academy would just magically teach them how to fly without making anyone work! and you can become a Jedi Knight in a day without working!! What kind of delusional world does he live in? How on earth- er How in the universe- hm... How the hell was he ever able to defeat Darth Vader??*

At Padme's room:

Obi- Wan knocked on the door and Padme came out. "Oh, hello, Obi- Wan, Lukie!-"  
"Luke." Luke corrected.

"You don't want to be called Lukie any more? How come?"  
"My father didn't want to be called Ani-" Luke started until he was cut off by Obi- Wan.

"What we came here for is I wanted you to tell Luke that you have to work-" Now it was Padme's turn to cut Obi- Wan off.

"Wait, sorry Master Obi- Wan, but what did you say your father's name was, Lukie- Luke?"  
"Ani-"  
"Anison." Obi- Wan finished then thought _*Dammit. That's a planet. Maybe she hasn't heard of it*_

[A/N: That was the planet that Obi- Wan and Anakin went to for a mission just before AOTC Luminara and her padawan were there also. This was also in the book Star Wars: Approaching Storm. I think that's the title...]

"Your father was named after a planet?"

"Huh?" Luke asked.

"Ansion. That's a planet too."  
"Oh. What else is it?" Padme looked dumbfounded when Luke asked that... then slowly responded, "You said that was your father's name. Do you remember saying that, Luke?"

"um... uh..." While Luke was pondering the question, Padme asked Obi- Wan about Luke's... uh... problems.

"Is he... mentally unstable, Master Jedi?"

__

*Why does she always call Jedi that? It doesn't even make much sense.* Obi- Wan thought before answering, "No, he just... forgets certain things."

[A/N: Padme called Qui- Gon Master Jedi in Ep. 1 just to let ya know]

"Like when he called me 'Mom'?"

"Yes..." *_this'll work. She thinks Luke just forgets things like that she's not his mom... I guess. Maybe we should leave before either she figures it out, or Luke tells her. MISFIT!!!!.... damn were is she? Wait, do I have to say it out loud? well, I'll try it.*_ Under his breath, Obi- Wan said, "Misfit!" But when she didn't show up again, he said it again, but louder. "Earthbound Misfit!" Padme heard it this time.

"What did you say?"  
"Oh, uh... nothing." Then he tried coughing while saying her name. "COUGH! Earthbound Misfit! ahem.."  
"Are you ok?" Padme asked.

"Oh yes I'm fine." Obi- Wan answered. Luke turned to Obi- Wan and instantly forgot what he was thinking about a second ago. 

"Maybe you should a drink, Master Ben."  
"Ben?" Padme was very confused.

"Why can't you remember my name!?" Obi- Wan said, exasperated. "That's his real Master's name."  
"Jedi Master Ben?"

"yes."  
"ok" Padme said, though not fully convinced. "Is there also a Master Bob?"  
"No, I don't believe so." Then he decided to try again, "COUGH! Master Earthbound Misfit! Cough!!"  
"Master, I really think you should get a drink."  
_*You don't know how much I've wanted one ever since I met you, Luke.*_ But then he said, "That might just be a good idea, Padawan." And he left for the bar, once there was a very short person there drinking. Accually the 'person' sitting there was a hobbit named, you guessed it! Pippen! Well, you would have guessed it if you read the book or ::sigh:: saw the movie instead of reading the book... Anyway, Obi- Wan TOOK [A/N:get it?! Pippen is a Took?! hahahahaha!!! anyway...] a seat next to the hobbit and ordered a drink. After a while, the two started talking and then they decided to have a drinking contest! You know, I think Obi- Wan has a bit of a drinking problem. Anyway, it looked as if Pippen was going to win when all of a sudden, Obi- Wan remembered that he needed to call Jedi Master Earthbound Misfit, AND that he probably shouldn't have left Luke alone with his mom. He probably told her that she was his mom by now! He called out "Jedi Master Earthbound Misfit!! Where the hell are-" and she showed up.

"Why didn't you ::hiccup:: come when I called with the coughses ::hiccup:: earlyerer?" 

"Uh... you called coughs and hiccups earlier?"  
"no I- never mend."  
"um... ok-ay... I think you had a little bit too much to drink, Obi- Wan"  
"That's MASTER Ben to yoU!"

"I thought you didn't want to be called that."  
"huh? What do you know? Your just a Sedi!"  
"and what exactly is that?"  
"a mixes between a sith and a you"  
"a... jedi?... you know I'm going make you un-drunken, I can't think of that word right now...oh well" and with a poof of smoke, Obi- Wan became un- drunken! "You know, I'm probably not excatly a jedi because I can do that... oh well- close enough! What did you call me for? do you want to jump dimensions?"

"Yes! Luke is over there probably telling his mom she is her!"

"huh?"

"Look, just take Luke and I anywhere far away from here!"

"Alright! Bwe hee hee hee..."

Poof! They were gone!

~~

That's it for now! I'll post more soon, I promise!! It's summer and I have nothing better to do!! lol review, but if you don't have anything nice to say...

All: Don't say anything at all! 

yep! now just follow the arrow!

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	2. Chapter 3.141592654...

Chapter 2

The next thing he knew, Obi- Wan was in a room with three other hims! On his right was the him from episode 1 and to his left was the him from episode 4! *Well, this is certainly far away from the Senator, but there's only one problem... Luke's not here!*

"Why am I- er why are we here?" asked episode 1 Obi.

"Well, I wanted to get Luke away from the Senator, that's Queen Amidala in your time, so he wouldn't end up telling her that she's his mom, even though he called her 'mom' earlier... anyway, Misfit beamed me here and I have no idea where he is now... nor do I really care." Ep.2 Obi answered.

"Unless, of course, he's with the Senator." Ep.4 Obi- Wan pointed out.

"Why?"ep.1 Obi asked. He had no idea what his older selves were talking about. But before any of the Obi- Wanssess...ess ... could answer, Luke fell into the room.

"OW! ::starts crying:: "  
"What's this?" ep.1 Obi asks upon seeing, and hearing, the farm boy.

"A local- er wait... that's what Qui- Gon said... this is Luke, the very annoying, forgetful, cry baby, wimpy son of a very annoying, easily amused padawan of mine- ours, I guess... well, soon to be padawan of yours." ep.2 Obi said, turning to ep.1 Obi- Wan.

"Anakin!?!"

"yup."  
"How?? How did we get stuck with that BRAT!?!"

"Ahhh! Master! I think I broke my eyes!! I see three of you!" Luke said, when he finally stopped bawling.

Then he stared at them for about an hour. And finally ep. 4 Obi- Wan said, "Maybe we should tell him that-" But Luke had just figured it out.

"I get it! You two" He pointed at ep.1 Obi-Wan and ep.2 Obi- Wan. "Are twins, or perhaps the same person! Except you have longer hair and a beard and you don't!" well, he kind of figured it out... then for some reason, Ewan McGregor appeared. Now Luke was even more confused, but soon, well, it was accually 30 minutes, but that's soon for him figuring something out. "Ok, you" Luke pointed to Ewan McGregor. "are the same person as you" and Luke pointed to ep.4 Obi- Wan. 

"That's not even partially true, Luke." ep.4 Obi- Wan said. 

"You mean my other guess was kinda true?!! That's amazing! Normally I'm fully wrong like now!"  
"Wait a minute!! Who are you?!" Luke turned, and when he did, Ewan McGregor dissappeared, so he turned back. "Where'd Master Obi- Wan go?" All three Obi- Wanssess sigh. And ep.1 Obi- Wan tried to explain, "Luke, we are all Master Obi- Wan."  
"Huh? Well, we'll see about that!"

"Who are you?" Luke asked ep.1 

"I'm Obi- Wan Kenobi/"  
"then who are you?" He asked ep.2 Obi

"I'm Obi- Wan Kenobi." Then he asked ep.4 Obi the same thing and the response was, "Obi- Wan Kenobi"

" One of you are an imposter! There can't be three of you!!" Then he proceeded to ask them they're names once again. Getting bored with the humor in this, the Obi- Wanssess decided to play Poker. But, because they knew what they're bluffing face looked like, it didn't work out that well.

"Well, this isn't going to work." ep.4 Obi- Wan declared. Then Luke asked him what his name was. "Obi- Wan."  
"You want to play Go Fish?" ep.2 Obi- Wan suggested, and seeing Luke come towards him, he said, "Obi- Wan Kenobi, Luke."

"Why not." Then all of a sudden, Luke stopped asking them their names and started yelling towards the ceiling, "Don't worry, Master Yoda! I will figure out this puzzle!! I will discover the true imposter." At this, the Obi- Wanssess looked at each other in confusion, then continued to play Go Fish. Laughing hysterically at this, Master Earthbound Misfit decided to have Yoda take a visit to this room. And all of a sudden, Yoda appeared in the room.

"Why didn't you fall in here like I did?" Luke wondered.

"Because clumsy I am not, Farmboy."  
"Master Yoda! What are you doing here? You didn't seriously tell him that one of us was an imposter did you?" ep.1 Obi asked.

"Of course he did!! And YOU just addmitted that you were the imposter!"

"How??"  
"uh... er... um..." Then all of a sudden, Jedi Master Earthbound Misfit!

"Well, Luke, if you think that he is an imposter, then why don't you follow Episode 1 Obi- Wan arround!" 

There was a look of terror and utter disgust written all over Obi- Wan's face. It looked as if he was trying to say something, but wasn't able to get his vocal cords working. Then Earthbound Misfit continued.

"Since there are no objections from either side, I believe it's settled." Then she turned to Episode 1 Obi- Wan. "Have fun! BWA HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Then, all the Obi- Wans went back to their own time. At the moment, Ep.2 Obi had no apprentice and Ep.4 Obi was, unfortunately re-united with his. Meanwhile, in the Phantom Menace timeline, they had just landed in the Trade Federation's docking bay and were brought into that little room. Luke wasn't there yet. Obi- Wan figured that Misfit had a specific time for him to drop in and he wasn't looking forward to it.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Obi- Wan said to himself, thinking about when Luke was going to come.

"I don't sense anything." Qui- Gon replied. Realizing his master heard him, he tried to cover it up. "Oh, it's not about the mission, Master. It's, er, something elsewhere, elusive!" *_That worked out very nicely! Even if I was a little to happy about how it worked out at the end... oh well! I bet he didn't even notice!*_

"You sounded very pleased with yourself at the end of your sentence... why?"

__

*damn! note to self: Become a Vulcan* "Uh... did I Master? I-er- didn't notice! heh heh..."

"Keep your concentration here and now, where it belongs."  
"But Master Yoda said I should be mindful of the future."  
"But not at the expense of the moment. Be mindful of the living force, young padawan."  
"Yes, Master." Then, the moment Obi- Wan had dreded came. Luke came falling into the room. 

Obi- Wan tried to go on with the conversation, hoping, for some strange reason, Qui- Gon forgot about the weakling crying on the floor.

"How do you think the Viceroy will deal with the Chancellor's demands?"

"Obi- Wan!" Qui- Gon sounded shocked. "Did you not notice this person fall into the room!?!"  
"yes... but I was hoping he would dissappear." Obi- Wan mumbled.

"What was that, padawan?"

"Oh, nothing, Master."

"::SOB!:: I'm lost and I don't know where I am!!!!" Luke sobbed.

"Isn't being lost and not knowing where you are the same thing?" Obi- Wan asked.

Suddenly Luke stopped crying, looked around and then pointed at Obi- Wan and said, "Your an imposter!!"

"Not with this again!!"  
"What's your name? You seem to be confused." Qui- Gon asked.

"Lukie- wait... I can' t remember if I was called Lukie or Luke."

"Which one do you like better?"  
"Lukie."

"Lukie??" Obi- Wan said, perplexed.

"I think... I don't know"  
"Well, we'll call you that ok, Lukie?" Qui- Gon said. Obi- Wan was trying to keep from laughing at Luke's stupid name. And Qui- Gon continued. "What were you saying? About someone being an imposter?"  
"Yeah! Him!!" Luke pointed at Obi- Wan.

"But that's my padawan. How is he an imposter?"  
"He's not Obi- Wan Kenobi!!! By the way, who are you?"  
"I'm Qui- Gon Jinn"  
"That's a funny name- wait! There's no such person as Qui- Gon Jinn!!"  
"What is he talking about, Master?"  
"I don't know, but I want a midi- chlorine count."

"uh... ok but were going to need blood, Master"  
"AHH!! Don't take blood! That always involves needles!!!! I don't like needles! expeccially ones given by people who are imposters and people who don't exist!! "  
"Don't worry, Lukie we won't" Qui- Gon lied. "but what are you saying? How am I talking to you if I don't exist?"  
"Jedi Mind Trick."  
"You do know that Jedi Mind Tricks only work on weak minded fools, don't you?" asked Qui- Gon.

"But, Master, that's a perfect description of him!" Obi- Wan said, not able to hold it back.

"Why would we- nevermind. Why do you think Obi- Wan is an imposter, Luke?" Qui- Gon asked.

"He told me so!" just then, TC- 14 came into the room holding a tray of drinks. And Luke said, "Look! It's silver Threepio!!"

__

*::sigh:: This is going to be a long, long, long movie, I mean how ever long Luke's gonna be here... It's going to be very annoying when Luke's here... Oh Force!! How am I going to deal with this when Jar Jar comes?!? Then when Anakin comes!!??!! ::sigh:: this is going to be bad...*

~~

A/N: A short chapter, but oh well... R&R!!! but if you don't have something semi- nice to say... burn in hell! hee hee hee! Just kidding! no flames, please! until next time... May the Force be with you!!

!  
! Follow the arrow to the pot of gold!! hee hee I'll fool them all!! Just leave a nice message   
! of how great, wonderful and funny this fan fiction is and the Leprichan will give you 

! some gold!! Suckers!! BWE HEE HEE HEE!!!!!! 

V  
  



	3. This isn't ch.3- it's just an illusion! ...

Ch.3

~~

TC- 14 walked in and brought the two Jedi and the brat some drinks. A few seconds later the room filled with gas, so Obi and Quiggie held their breath but Luke didn't have enough brains to do that. 

"AGH! I'm choking!! Can't… breath!!!!!!!" And he collapsed. Even though the door was open by that time…

"LUKE! The door's open you frickin' moron!" Obi- Wan yelled, getting an amused look from Qui-Gon.

"I see you have a lightsaber, Luke. Why don't you take it out and help us fight?" Qui- Gon said.

"Master! He won't be able to-" Obi- Wan started to say.

"Ok!!! I get to fight like a real Jedi!!!!" Presently, more battle droids were coming down the halls towards them. Luke pulled out his lightsaber, closed his eyes, and swung it around wildly, nearly taking off Obi- Wan's braid.

"Did I hit one yet?" He asked, opening his eyes up again.

"No, but you almost took off my braid!" Looking down at all the broken battle droids that Obi- Wan and Qui- Gon fought, Luke said, "What are you talking about, imposter? Look at all these droids I killed!!"  
"WE BROKE them!!!"

"Yeah, right… Just taking all the credit for yourself… besides, why should I believe an IMPOSTER?" Obi- Wan stopped listening to Luke awhile ago because more droids came down the hall way. And Luke continued, while swinging around his lightsaber, oblivious to the fact that no one was listening to him. "See? I'm killing all these droids and you're probably going to try to take all the credit!" Then, some destroyer droids came rolling down the halls, and Obi- Wan and Qui- Gon decided that because they had shields, it probably wasn't wise to fight them… However, Luke had other plans, unfortunately. As Obi and Quiggie were running down the hall way to the ventilation shaft were they would make their escape, they realized Luke was trying to fight the destroyer droids.

"Damn it! Can't he listen!?!" Obi- Wan said, exasperated.

"Stay calm, Obi- Wan. I'll go get the brat." And Qui- Gon took off. When he got to Luke, he found that he was delusional, bloody, and quoting Monty Python. 

"The black knight always wins!… I'll bleed on you!!…" So, Qui- Gon did what most people wouldn't do. He saved Luke, dragging him by his hair. Finally back at the ventalation shaft, Luke was back to normal… for him, at least…

"Well split up, stow about separate ships and meet down on the planet." Qui- Gon said, mostly to Obi- Wan, however, Luke was the one who responded.

"Ok!" 

"Well, you were right about one thing, Master. The negotiations were short." Replied Obi- Wan. Qui- Gon smirked, and Luke became confused.

"What? Wait… I don't get it! There were no negotiations! Were there?? Wait… Obi- Wan imposter!!!!" Luke called after Obi- Wan, who was getting aboard a ship. Lukily, no battle droids heard Luke.

"Shh! Get aboard a ship, Luke!" Qui- Gon said as he left to board one himself.

"ok, Luke… all you have to do is ask one of the battle droids if you can get aboard their ship, and they'll let you! Now… go!" Luke said to himself. And he did just that. He walked up to a battle droid and asked, "Excuse me sir- er well, I guess your not a sir or a ma'am are you? Uh…" Why the battle droid didn't just kill him then and there, I don't know. "Excuse me, battle droid? Can I get aboard your ship so I can meet my Jedi buddies, who are also on some of your ships, down on the planet?" The battle droid looked at him for a while, then, for some reason, let him get on… it was probably experiencing a malfunction… Anyway, Qui- Gon's ship landed and he was being chased, along with a bunch of other Naboo animals, by the battle droid tanks. In front of him was a very, very slow Gungan, who wouldn't move out of the way. So, Qui- Gon, again did something that most people wouldn't have done. He saved Jar Jar by pulling him underneath the tank. After the tanks passed over them, Qui- Gon got up and left, only to be followed by this pathetic life form called Jar Jar Binks.

"Oyi, mooie- mooie! Mesa luv you!"  
"Are you brainless? You almost got us killed!"  
"I spake."  
"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent. Now get out of here."  
"No no! Mesa stay! Mesa called Jar Jar Binks! Mesa your humble servant!" Etc. Etc… we all know what happens here, don't we? If you don't go watch episode 1 a couple hundred times, then maybe you'll beat my record! Anyway, let's go see what Luke is up to!

"Hi! I'm Luke! Let's be friends!!" Luke said to a battle droid.

"That doesn't compute.. uh, wait… your under arrest!"

"Why?… AGH! Stop shooting, friend!!… fine, if you won't stop… I'm never talking to you again!… Why aren't you stopping!?!?!?!?! QUI- GON!!!!! OBI- WAN? ANY ONE? Hahaha any one is like Obi- Wan! Hmm… what if I fight them with my lightsaber??… hmm… it's a bit tricky to turn on, but maybe Qui- Gon will come then I'll ask him how!!" Why Luke never got shot during this, I don't know… it's just one of those mysteries of the universe… like why eagles can survive out of water! 

[a/n: HAHAHA! Isn't that funny!?!… well, I guess it's not really all that funny, isn't… oh well! HAHAHA]

Upon hearing Luke's feeble cries, Obi- Wan decided, against his better judgement, to go help him, and thought to himself,

****

'H_e's really not all that bad when he's not telling me I'm an imposter, whining, or saying that he's a better Jedi than me... _ _Sure, it's only about 5 seconds in between his sentences, but if you combine all those 5 seconds... well, Qui- Gon will be mad if I don't help him…' _ A few seconds later, he caught up with Luke.

"Thank the Force!! Obi- Wan! I can't figure out how turn on my lightsaber!!!!"

"Much less use it…" Obi- Wan mummbled before saying to Luke, while fighting the battle droids, "You see that switch that's labeled 'on'?"  
"Yeah?? What about it?"  
"If you press it, you lightsaber will turn on! Hence the label!!"

"Oh!! I get it!!" By this time, almost all of the battle droids in that section were destroyed. "Wow! It's shiny!!"

"Stop staring at it, and start fighting!" Then, to himself, Obi- Wan thought, '**_Well, someone has to train him, I guess it's gonna be me… After all, it IS me in the future…' _**Then he continued to Luke, "See that battle droid over there? Close your eyes and try to block one of the shots."

"I'm gonna get killed! What if I can't do that?!?!?!"

"uh… Qui- Gon won't be very happy"

"And I'LL be DEAD!!"  
"That's a risk I'm willing to take!"

"Hey!" Luke said, holding his lightsaber idly to his side and when the battle droid shot, it happened to deflect right off his lightsaber and destroy the last of the droids.

"Wow. You did better than I thought you would" Obi- Wan said, impressed.

"I didn't do anything."  
"Well, even though it might've felt like you did nothing, you accually-"  
"No, I mean, I literally did nothing! I forgot I was even holding a lightsaber!!! Because YOU wanted to KILL me!!!!!!!!!"

"Oh… Then I'm not impressed and I stand by my statement that you're a lazy annoying brat. Let's go."  
"Oh, did I say I did nothing? I meant to say that it FELT like nothing!!"

"Nice try, Luke. There's Qui- Gon and… Jar Jar. Tell ya what, why don't we go practice some more, away from Jar Jar??" But when Obi- Wan turned around, there was nothing there. Luke had run over to Jar Jar and started talking to the Gungan.

"Why do I sense we've picked up yet another pathetic life form?"

"Aren't you supposed to say that when we pick up Anakin?"  
"Yeah, well, the circumstances have some what changed." And he looked directly at Luke.

"Oh, he's not that bad, Obi- Wan." Qui- Gon replied as they all started walking.

"Easy for you to say! He's not telling you that you're a imposter!!"

~~  



	4. Ch. 42 (The answer to life, the universe...

Ch.4

"We've better get out of here before more droids show up." Qui- Gon announced.

"More? More did you spake?… Exquese me! The mostest safest place would be gungan city! Tis where I grew up! Is a hidden city!" 

Obi- Wan and Qui- Gon looked at each other with surprise.

"What's a gungan?" Asked Luke. Ignoring Luke, Qui- Gon said to Jar Jar, "A city? Can you take us there?"  
"Uh… on second thought, no. Not really no."

"No? You hear that?" 

"Yeah"

"No, what??" asked Luke.

"That is the sound of a thousand things heading this way." Qui- Gon said trying to persuade the stubborn Gungan.

"Terrible!?! What are they going to do??" Luke said, exasperated.  
"And when they find us, they will crush us, grind us into tiny pieces, and blast us into oblivion!" Obi- Wan added.

"uh, yousa point is well taken. This way! Hurry!"

"WHERE ARE WE GOING!?!?"

"Come on, Luke. Don't slow us down or we'll leave you to the droids."  
"AGH! Alright! I'm coming!!!!"

~~

Skip to scene in front of a large lake:

"Yousa follow me now, okey-day? But mys warning you… don't expect a warm welcome!"  
"Oh don't worry. This hasn't been are day for warm welcomes." Obi- Wan said.

"Why not?" asked Luke, "Is it because of the Trade Federation and stuff?" Everyone, including Jar Jar, just stopped and stared at him. Until Obi- Wan replied, "uh… yeah." And Jar Jar jumped into the lake with a rather annoying and odd scream. "AYIYIYIYIYI!!!!!!!!"

"What was that?"

"Just put your breathing mechanism in your mouth and shut up, Obi- Wan." Snickering, Obi- Wan replied, "Yes, Master."

[A/N: I don't know what their breathy thing is called so…yeah…]  
"Alright, Luke. You don't have one of these, do you?" Qui- Gon asked, holding up the mechanism that allowed Obi- Wan and himself to breath for hours upon hours at a time underwater.

"No… what is that? Looks like something from Star Trek!"

"What's 'Star Trek'?"

"It allows us to breath." Qui- Gon replied as Luke looked at his belt.

"Nope. Nothing like that… I have some flimsy-looking yet remarkably strong string, though!! Can I finally use it!?!"

"Well, I don't see how… but what are we going to do about the present matter?"

"Make 'im hold his breath." Obi- Wan replied, matter- of- factly.

"I bet I could! How long of a dive could it be??"  
"Where's Jar Jar, we can ask him… JAR JAR!!!!!!!!!!!" Qui- Gon yelled and Jar Jar came up looking rather annoyed.

"What?"  
"How long of a dive is it? Will Luke be able to hold his breath the whole way down?"

"No way! Unless he's a Gungan!"

"Am I?"  
"Alright. Obi- Wan, your going to have to share your breather with him." Qui- Gon said.

"WHAT!?! Why me? Why not you? You're the one who wants him to live! If it was up to me he'd have to hold him breath!"

"Hey!"  
"Because it's a good way for you to learn that every live form is just as important as the next." Qui- Gon replied. 

"Suuurrree… you just don't want his spit on yours!" Obi- Wan mumbled.

"And you have to make sure that you give him just as much air as you breath in. Now, let's go." Qui- Gon said, thinking that Obi- Wan hadn't figured out his true reason for not wanting to share his breather thing with Luke, and they left. 

One minute later, Luke was frantically trying to grab the breathy thing from Obi- Wan, who just kept turning away from his frantic self. About thirty seconds later, Luke opened his mouth to say something to Obi- Wan, but realized that he can't talk underwater. Meanwhile, Obi- Wan was laughing at Luke's stupidity. Qui- Gon looked back to make sure Obi was sharing nicely with Luke and upon seeing the real situation, turned around and grabbed the breather from Obi- Wan's mouth and shoved it into Luke's. Obi- Wan was so surprised by this, he, by habit, opened his mouth to protest but found himself in the same situation as Luke except now Luke had the breathing mechanism and he didn't. Luke looked over and saw Obi- Wan's predicament and laughed. But upon doing this, the breather fell from his mouth and into the dark depths of the sea- er lake. Obi- Wan turned and glared a glare worthy of Vegeta at Luke, who cowered back in fear, and dove after the breather. [A/N: Vegeta is a character from Dragonball Z] But it was all in vain. So, Obi- Wan turned back to the direction of Ohto Gunga and swam like hell. Meanwhile, Luke was freaking out, opening his mouth to yell but getting it full of water so Qui- Gon ended up sharing breathers with him. Obi- Wan was the first to get there, closely followed by Jar Jar. Looking though the translucent material that constructed the outer walls of the Gungan city, Obi saw his Master sharing his breather with Luke and had to laugh and point. Qui- Gon glared at his padawan and started to open his mouth is response, but remembered what would happen if he did. Why can't anyone remember to keep their mouths shut under water!?!?! Anyway, Qui- Gon and Luke finally got to the city and Obi- Wan immediately started ranting Luke about how much of a clumsy oaf he is until he was cut off by Captain Tarples, the Gungan security officer who zapped Jar Jar. 

"Can I borrow that?" Obi- Wan asked Tarples, pointing to his zapping stick. 

"Well, I don't see why not." He replied and handed it to Obi, who immediately started to chase Luke around with it saying things along the lines of "Don't worry Luke! I'm not going to hurt you just because you nearly killed me by dropping the damn breather!!!!!!! HEY! GET BACK HERE!!" Chuckling, Qui- Gon said to Tarples, "We'd like to speak to the leader of the city, please."

~~

"Yousa cannot bees here. This army of mackinecks up dere is yous we saw." Boss Nass said to the odd fellowship.  
"The droid army is about to attack the Naboo. We must warn them." Qui- Gon said in response.

"Wesa no carein about the Naboo"

"You and the Naboo form a symbiant circle. What happens to one of you will affect the other. You must understand this!" Obi- Wan said, astounded Boss Nass didn't realize this.

"HA!! His name is Boss Nass?! That's the stupidest name I've ever heard!" Laughed Luke.

"Well, Luke, maybe Boss Nass thinks Luke Skywalker is a stupid name!" Qui- Gon replied sternly. But no matter how sternly the Jedi said it, it made Obi- Wan laugh. And through these stifled laughs, Obi- Wan tried to tell Luke to wait outside, but it was impossible to understand him. Finally, he pulled himself together and preformed the 'Jedi mind trick' on the weak minded Gungan leader. "You did not take any offense to the stupid joke the brat made about your name and you will lend us a Bongo to get to Naboo through the planet's core."  
"I will do everything you just said." Replied Boss Nass. So, the two Jedi, the weakling, and the annoying Gungan made their way through the planet's core encountering more than a few monsters on the way… wait… they encountered four monsters… ok, here's the new sentence: … encountering more than a couple monsters on the way! I mean 'on the way…' the three peroids add a mysterious feeling to it, don't you think? Anyway, that's the end of this chapter… I think it's getting funnier, don't you? …Well, I don't care if you don't think so- it doesn't matter! BWE HEE HEE HEE HEE!! The laugh makes it more mysterious too, don't you think? Hee hee hee hee…


End file.
